User blog:THEJJRAT/Fan: Honey
"Sir, the colony is showing signs of... Advanced intelligence." a scientist in a white hazmat suit said to Donald Trump, who over saw the experiment they were working on. "What in Mexico's hive minded taco meats does that mean?!" the President asked, his arms exploding. They were soon replaced with plastic ones via a robot arm. "It... It means that they are evolving. They have figured out how to write, how to read, how to talk, they've even opened a school for their larvae. They can cook, now." Donald Trump listened, raising an eyebrow. He rubbed his wig in thought. "What kinda food are we talkin' about here?..." Donald asked, turning his head to the scientist and making extreme eye contact, his left eyebrow doing it's thing. "Um... Honey. Similar to bees, they create a unique wax-like substance in suitable areas, such as rock cavities, building honey-comb like spheres. However, unlike bees, they can only create honey with manmade substances such as..." the scientist paused. He stared at the research papers in terror and awe, he knew this would only lead to the death, destruction, and slavery of an entire species. "Such as?" Donald brought the subject back up. "Erm... Uh... Umm....Because of the recent McDonald's sponsored school trip that went horribly, horribly wrong... Fast food." Donald's pupils became as big as his under regions, he knew where this was going. He was ready. The scientist was horrified at this point, ashamed that he is about to sell out an entire species.. "According to.. short lived test subjects, it tastes like Filet-O-Fish." he yelped, wiping the glimmering sweat off his forehead with his sleeve. Donald thought for a bit, looking out of a window and seeing the insect-like beings teaching their young to make honey. The Team The TARDIS "You have: One new message." a screen on the console spoke, showing a 3D envelope turning back and fourth in an endless loop. The Doctor was currently playing his guitar, oblivious to the feminine robotic voice. "Wait, what?" he said outloud, dropping his devices of music. He ran over to the console, tripping but using the console itself as a life guard. "The hell is this? Clara, did you install an email onto the friggin' TARDIS?" the Doctor asked. "I didn't.... Okay, I did, but it doesn't look anything like this." Clara said. The Doctor rolled his eyes and flicked on the envelope. An mp4 file opened, showing three decaying spheres of flesh floating over the planet. "No..." he said, staring at the screen in awe. "No, no, no, no! When did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen today!" the Doctor yelled, slapping himself. "lol jk" the video said, closing itself and revealing a man with a wig. "What? Is that Donald (REDACTED)ing Trump?" the Doctor asked. "What the hell? What did you-" "We tricked you into thinking a Brethren Moon was attacking Earth, that's what." "Why?" "Because we need you, Doctor. For something big." "DOC-TOR, WHY HAVE WE HALTED?" a dalek, rolling over to the Doctor, asked. "Yeah, and you become Alton Brown and this fat guy one day." Moonbase Alpha Category:Blog posts